'I wanna run with the wild horses....'

I took a 'Me'-day today.

It felt amazing. =]

I feel like I'm finally able to take the lead in my new life, after months of trying to hang on to the reins in this crazy horse race.

It's funny tho. As soon as I begin to settle, I immediately begin to look to the future. One can never stop improving.

Who knows where I will be in a year? (Boston, Miami, elsewhere?)

Who knows what I will be doing? (Consulting, Applying to grad school?)

But I do know... I look back over 2011 as I look back over 2010 today, and stand proud of all that I have done and accomplished over those 365.25 days.



'Wild horses I wanna be like you;
Throwing caution to the wind, I'll run free too.'

ps. Saw Dashboard Confessional on Saturday. If only I had the voice of Chris Carrabba. If only.

A Very Thankful Thanksgiving.

Waking up at the 'luxurious' and new W hotel in financial district, to open up my window to a in-your-face view of the two massive holes that used to be the World Trade Center towers, reminded me of how blessed I am to live the life I lead.



I am forever thankful for all of my family, my friends, and everyone that is even in the least bit an influence on my life.

I am thankful to have a good job in this economy, which still allows me time to pursue my passion - dance. (Even if it is for only half as many hours per week as back in my prime.)

I am thankful to have people who love me, people I can come to as a support system - and I am thankful that they know that I love them too.

For that, I am the most thankful.



Thank you everyone, for you all mean so much to me.

Thank you to my mother, for always being so strong.

And most of all, thank you God for always being there to answer my prayers. I love you.

Sincerely,
Jason

< 3

she said it all.

i love you.

'Cus baby you're a firework...'

I'm just living...

...because I only get to do it once.



Remember, remember... the 5th of November.

Because it will always be our day.




ps. Katy Perry, I never thought I'd say this... but I am now a fan.

- PANDA -

-_-

lol.

Fall 2010 is halfway over.

...and I fell way too hard...
now to pick up the pieces.

So it has been a while since I last blogged.

Fall is flying so fast, and now it's time for me to regroup, sense up, and start living for the long term.

At least according to my fortune cookie, it's time to make some tough decisions. (ps. Never has a fortune cookie so appropriately described all of my problems.)



It's often good to think about what you care about, how that fits into the long term, and what sacrifices are inevitably coming your way.

In the end... all I need are my friends.

...and a career that supports my excessive spending habits.

Life is coming at me fast, whether I like it or not.

I want it all. Go big, or go home!

Though, I feel like this means I have to accept that I can't take you with me.



I hate this part right here...

Laugh. Love. Live. DANCE.

Ai means love in Japanese.

The world's most intangible, yet most powerful emotion.

Or is it infatuation?

Are love and infatuation synonymous....?

Bah, who the f*** cares.

Let's cuddle, and watch the sunrise.






'so sing outlouddddd...

...a chorus, for usssssssss.'


Laugh. Love. Live. Dance.

Love.

Nothing Even Matters....

Fall(-ing for you) has already proven to have its ups-and-downs.



Though nothing seems to matter when you're around.



Here's to a Fall to top an epic summer!

A belly full of butterflies....

infatuation.

i met you today on the subway.

turns out you live in my apartment building.

you gave me your number.

turns out, i'm hooked.





'my tongue dances behind my lips for you...'

A few haikus for the road....

I got a lot of things off my chest last night.
Honesty is the best policy.
Though, I wish it didn’t always have to come at the expense of my liver.

I like my apartment.
I love my apartment.
I will post pictures soon.

I OWN my car now.
I have so many bills.
Why must I always live beyond my means?!

So much has happened in the 3 months since my 22nd birthday.
I want to get a tattoo soon.
Summer is almost over.

This one is for you....

Jynx me something crazy
Thinking an event through
Then I'm as smooth as the skin
Rolls across the small of your back
It's too bad it's not my style
If you need me
I'm out and on the parkway
Patient and waiting for headlights
Dressed in a fashion that's fitting to the
Inconsistencies of my moods

It's times like these where silence means everything
And no one is to know about this
It's times like these where silence means everything
And no one is to know about this

It's a campaign of distraction
And revisionist history, oh

It's a shame I don't think that they'll notice
(It's a shame, I don't think that they'll notice)
It's a shame I doubt they even care
(It's a shame I doubt they even care)
No one is to know about this

It's a shame I don't think that they'll notice
(It's a shame, I don't think that they'll notice)
It's a shame I doubt they even care
(It's a shame I doubt they even care)
Don't let me down

But whatever I have [been] gettin' myself into
Lately has been slicing inches from my waist
It's my face vs. the bottle
(And thank god you weren't there...)
And that's how bad could this hurt
.. against I won't feel a thing
(And thank god you weren't there...)
I tell you all about [it]
It's just not working out
(...to watch me hit bottom)
Not working out

It's a campaign of distraction
And revisionist history, oh

It's a shame I don't think that they'll notice
(It's a shame, I don't think that they'll notice)
It's a shame I doubt they even care
(It's a shame I doubt they even care)
No one is to know about this

It's a shame I don't think that they'll notice
(It's a shame, I don't think that they'll notice)
It's a shame I doubt they even care
(It's a shame I doubt they even care)
No one has to know about this
Don't let me down

This is why ..
We were taught so much better than this
We were taught so much better than this

This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does



------------------------------------------------

I <3 TBS.

They got the lyrics perfect... down to every single word.

I took the E-train home to my new apartment on the Green Line today.

I guess the letter E is the letter of the week.

Today's letter is the letter 'E' kids....

sometimes we put walls up not to keep people out,
but to see who cares enough to break them down...

Expectations.

either my assumptions are right,
and your expectations of me are too high...

or my paranoia is getting the best of me again,
and it's me who expects too much of you,
it's me who expects too much of your expectations,
it's me who expects too much of myself.

i was always taught to expect the best.

Emotions.

when did i get so emo again?
i guess once emo, always emo...

maybe it's the music i listen to.
i rediscovered Anberlin on my iPod this morning.

i love rediscovering music.

Evidence.

i can't seem to find it,
but it must exist somewhere.

im always looking for evidence.
evidence that im doing it right.

work.
dance.
love.
life.

....'it'.

whatever 'it' may be.

i just want some sort of proof that im doing it right.




sometimes we put walls up not to keep people out,
but to see who cares enough to break them down...




Today's letter is the letter 'E' kids.

...and I'm running on Empty

Meet me at the icecream truck...

So here's to Summer 2010, the 'epic' summer of change.

I only have two more weeks left until I officially declare summer to be over. (Basically, once I'm moved into my new place and settled and such.)

It's crazy.

I can't really believe how much has happened this summer, and how much I've loved it all; New Friendships, New Outlooks, New Lifestyle Changes... :D

Though, I don't want the changes to end with the summer. I hope to stay on this route I'm on, because right now I love it.

On another note - This weekend was a blast! Loved every moment of it. Tho, it was lacking in the dance department. I def miss dance.

LOL, pls tell me why I find this hilarious... tho slightly inappropriate for YouTube:



Meet me at the ice cream truck...
...I'll buy you an ice cream.

(and that's all I'll say about that.)

Anyways...



Take Care amigos and amigas.

'Cosmic Love' - Florence and the Machine

I haven't updated in two weeks, because I really don't know what to say.

Life is decent.
Exceptional at times.

I've really been thinking a lot about those I care about, those I miss and wish I had more time to see, and those who I'm slowly forgetting.

Forgetting is such an interesting phenomenon.
It sucks, yet it really helps you filter out whats important to you.

..which I think I've slowly been figuring out more and more.

Now if only I could figure you out....




If you can wait til I get home...
...then I swear we can make this last.

'whataya want from me' - adam lambert

work.

work dance.

work dance party.

work dance party beaslut.

work dance party love?

work dance party love

live.





ps. happy one month of no meat. i'm a vegetarian now btdubs... the urbandictionary definition of pescatarian got to me.

listen to the thunder.

today is a winding road,
that's taking me to places
that I didn't want to go.

today in the blink of an eye
i'm holding on to something
and do not know why...

i tried...

i tried to read between the lines
i tried to look in your eyes
i want a simple explanation
for what I'm feeling inside.

i gotta find a way out

maybe there's a way out.....

hmmm.

lookin' for love in all the wrong places,
lookin' for love in all the wrong faces,
lookin' for love...

hmmm.

maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano....

a day for independence...

independence.

a state in which one does not require others to form opinions or for guidance in conduct.

synonyms: see FREE.

i feel like that is the theme for the summer of 2010.

by the end of summer, no longer am i dependent. and it's exciting....



live, love, and dance.

Summer is a time for metamorphoses....

I don't know what it is about summertime, but every year, I tend to find as many ways as possible to improve my life.

I'm excited to see the fruit of this summer. Although many of the changes are internal and/or subtle, I am more excited than I have been in summers past to see where I end up.

A new pescatarian diet, new cardio-heavy exercise regimen, new surgically-enhanced eyesight, new apartment in Boston, new 'home' home in FL, a new challenging job ahead of me, and an improved approach to life....

Summer 2010 will be epic. No doubts about it.

PS. Speaking of changes, and moving on to new phases of life... Toy Story 3 could not have come at a better time. I actually am impressed by how much I related to Andy leaving his childhood behind him.

Sigh.. excited for more summer movies/concerts -> Eclipse, The Last Airbender, Taking Back Sunday... and more to come. :)

Not to mention new music:

My Graduation Address...

Below is my Graduation Address. (I will miss the c/o 2010 so much!)

Also the webcast is here but you have to fastforward a bit.

----------------------------------



Good morning Class of 2010, and Congratulations!

I am so honored to be able to speak to each of you one last time, before we all officially exit MIT, and enter the world of adulthood.

A few months ago, when they asked me to deliver a short address at Commencement (and they emphasized the word ‘short’ many times) I was left wondering what I could possibly say a group of the most impressive individuals that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing over my 22 years.

Luckily, a month or so ago, a friend of mine sent me a link to the old 2010 admissions website. For those who don’t remember, this is where each MIT incoming class is allowed to blog about how it feels getting into MIT, and making the decision to come here for college. As I sat, re-reading these for the first time since the Spring of 2006, it made me smile to hear the younger versions of people I now know, and in particular, hear how excited they all were about MIT.

One in particular stood out to me. It was posted by a friend of mine, that I won’t embarrass…. but her name is Elizabeth Kim, she’s Course 15 and (sitting right about there):

(she said) ‘MIT is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I came home Monday night and did not at ALL expect to see the TUBE. However, (she wrote in all caps) MIRACLES DO HAPPEN.’

I could do nothing but smile. For those who know Elizabeth, it is a rare occasion these days to hear her this excited when talking about MIT. Though, after four years of most of us working harder and sleeping less than we ever thought possible, she is far from in the minority.

Somewhere along the way, MIT students quickly become jaded. We forget how excited we were to open our acceptance letters, and finally decide that MIT was the place for us. Too often do we forget how truly blessed we are to be here, at such an amazing university, around such amazing individuals, and in a city that has so much to offer, as Boston. Too often do we lose track of what once made us speak so passionately about coming here.

Which leads me to the three most important things ever said to me over my four years at MIT. And I’d like to share each with all of you as my peers, and as my friends:

1. ‘Pick your Passion. Be the best at it.’

Don’t be afraid to take risks. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Learn from them. Whether your passion is in research, service, business… or even dancing, acting, or singing… pick one thing to be the best at, and own it. Too often do MIT students do a decent job at a million things, instead of choosing to be excellent at one or two.

2. ‘Be a Leader. Be empathetic. Lead through example.’

Be inspirational; be compassionate. The most successful leaders work their best to help all those around them succeed. The term ‘empathetic leadership’ is one that I had never heard used until recently, but that perfectly describes the type of leadership that I find makes the most effective leaders. Thus, I challenge all of you to be empathetic leaders in whatever path you choose to pursue.

*The third piece of advice may seem obvious, but it is something we often forget at MIT.

3. ‘Take time to enjoy the little things life has to offer.’

Travel; Experience the world. Take time to try new restaurants. And above all else, find a time to GO SKYDIVING! But most importantly, make time for your friends. Make time for your family. *And don’t forget to tell your mom your love her on Mother’s Day.

These are the three pieces of advice that I have chosen to live by over the past four years, and have since achieved much peace of mind. Thus, I thought I’d share them with all of you today, in hopes that you too could benefit from hearing at least one thing that I have to say.

Now for the fun part!

Can all the seniors please take a look at your brass rat, and say to yourself ‘I’ve been waiting four years for this?’ Because I know that you all definitely have.
My fellow members of the MIT Class of 2010, please join me in reversing your Brass Rats!

Congratulations, seniors! We are finally graduating!

Now to conclude my address, I’d like to invite President Susan Hockfield to the stage.

This year, the senior class giving committee was able to achieve record-breaking participation in the senior gift campaign, with more than 72% of seniors donating to the senior gift fund. With the help of all the seniors and donors, including Alumnus Ken Wong who graciously donated an amazing $25,000 toward the 2010 campaign, we were able to raise $32,000 for our class project.

With that, the Class of 2010, is happy to present to you the new 2010 Summer Housing Fund.

The Class of 2010 Summer Housing Fund is designed to offset housing costs for MIT undergraduates participating in volunteer work or unpaid internships over the summer. The project will enable MIT students to gain educationally enriching experiences during the summer, without being limited to paid positions. We hope this fund will encourage MIT students to participate in a wider array of summer internships and volunteer work.

Thank you to everyone who donated!

And on behalf of the Senior Gift committee, Mr. Wong, the Alumni Association, and the 2010 Senior Class… President Hockfield, I present to you, the Class of 2010 Senior Gift!

'can we pretend that airplanes, in the night sky, are like shooting stars...',

airplanes.

i dunno why this song is what is keeping me sane right now. i love the hook so much. perfect choice of lyrics/singer/everything.

check it.

anyways, let's recap.

1. Philly for Impact.

It's always humbling/motivating to see kids passionate about school and learning. I miss those years of my life.

2. I'm 22.

*insert sarcastic yay here.*

3. Sky Diving.

:)



...the pictures + video speak for themselves... it was amazing.

4. Graduating.

I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm like just ready for it to be Saturday, and it all to be over.

I don't even really want to give my speech.

I think it's just a factor of me being like literally the last senior with ish to do. But I guess that's what I get for running for Class Council in the first place.

5. Summer 2010.

please, please come soon.

i've been waiting for you for forever.




see ya foolios. next time i post, i'll be staring across the room at my diploma.

It's OVER!

....and the first thing I did was choreo, and teach a workshop:




Bah, it really hasn't set in that it's over yet.

Probably won't until I see for certain that I have all the credits on the degree audit.

Now, to prep for Dead Week in Philly, Senior Week, and Graduation! :)

PS. Excited for Ithaca/Saginaw/Home.

-JS

'Under The Sheets' - Ellie Goulding

I did a impromptu workshop today:



I do the choreo at the end of the video.

Sigh...

We also learned some of Gus's stuff.




Anyways,

I'm in a weird mood. Tired, but not sleepy. I'm feeling cuddly....

Unfortunately, I lack a cuddle buddy...



....as usual.

'Werewolf' by CocoRosie

If only you understood me.

If only you could read the emotions hidden behind my smile, and my thoughts were projected across my forehead.

If only it were that easy.

If only you looked forward to my company, as much as I did to yours.

If only the good times could last forever.

If only...




I had a dream about you last night, and now I can't get the idea of us out of my head.

'I loved you first..... I loved you first...'

*Sigh*

DanceTroupe - Spring '10 - Over.



I'm like actually extremely sad it had to end. It was an amazing production, and everyone made me so proud.

I could go on forever... but I won't.

Just know that I <3 you all, and will miss you dearly.

Sincerely,
Jason

April is all about Dance and Foolery...

So here's my month of April in one word:

1. Dance...

...for Donk.

...for Mocha.

...for DanceTroupe.

...for Nu Delta.

...for homework.

...tho, sadly not really for just for the sake of dancing. :(


ps. I've lost all respect for Ke$ha.

Spring Break 2010

Cancun was amazing/life-changing.

If I were to go through all the moments that led to the best week of Senior year so far, I'd probably cry realizing how shitty being back at MIT feels.

Of course, Cancun had it's fill of not-so-great moments and decisions that could have probably used better judgment... but I wouldn't have traded the experience for the world.

Now, back to locking myself into a box until I crank out this 15 pager for 7.19.

But first, I'd like to document a few quotes for me to look back on and smile:


'Been waitin' four years for this....'
- Raph

'But it's TUEEESDAY, I usually get my mead for half a chicken...'
- Benson

'Hola, Pablo!'
-Benson

'I'm.....'
'...ANNOYING!'
- Trevor/Ellie combo

'I made out with a cougar.... can I be MVP now?'
- Beth

Troy's rendition of 'Zombie'.

Trevor's rendition of 'He Lives in You'.

'Where's Trevor...?!?'
'He's over there hitting on my wife.'
- US + Random old man

and finally... a song...



'Cus when you're fifteen,
and Sam Okeefe tells you she loves you,
You shouldn't believe it.

Cus you're just fifteen,
and Sam just wants to be MVP, tonight...'

Spring is Upon Us....

It's finally warm... which helps the fact that I've slept only three 2 hour increments since Saturday night.

But I have a top 5:

1. LYNNE TYE! Shout out to getting published! (See the press release + article.)

2. A Funny Article on Bitch Classification.

3. Ridonk is competing at ROXY on Saturday! lol... should be fun times to say the least.

4. I've decided to accept ADL. (I have until before Spring Break to make the final decision and sign the offer.) Looks like I'll be in Boston officially next year though. Starting anew... in the same city. lol.

5. I <3 my DT dance. It's my first one by myself... but it's like my baby! I am determined to make it good!


Anyways... that's the current top 5!

Everyone come to Footwork 2010 on April 2nd!!

Life is..... Blah Blah Blah...

I'm so busy. In fact, I can't even keep up.

But anyways, here are the two things I'm most excited about this week:








Sigh.. I'm struggling to survive these 69 units this term!

I'm like in a constant state of catching up... it's ridic.

Someone pray for me.

New Plans for Summer 2010

So.... if this whole MISTI Japan thing doesn't work out this summer... I think I found something I want to do even more...

BDC in the NYC for Summer 2010?!

Sigh.

As I sit in lecture...

I realize that my mind has already checked out of MIT.... *sigh*...

I'm so ready to graduate... it's ridiculous.

-------------------------

This week-

1. One of my 7 things I had due this week was a project for my Japanese Pop Culture class. Probably the funnest assignment I've ever made:



2. An another video that brought me joy this week entitled, 'Raptor Devours Cheerleader' -



3. I saw Lion King the Broadway Musical last week!... sooooo good!




4. I'm in a love-hate relationship with dance right now. I stumbled upon some old YouTube vids that always remind me why I love dance:





5. On the note of dance, VOTE for STATIC tomorrow!!! PLS!



Still so excited for them!

YouTube aside, I'm so tired of things. Lol. I've checked out of school so hard. But it's almost March! - 12 weeks!

Tickle Me Emo...

So when I'm tired, I get super moody.

...and let's just say I can't really remember the last time I got a full nights worth of sleep... or even a decent amount of sleep.

Top 5 for the past two weeks:

1. The Mocha Show went AMAZINGLY! There aren't any videos yet, but i will be sure to share any once I have access to them.

2. My hamstring went 'POP' on-stage, and yeh... now I'm kinda handicapped.

3. School is kicking my ass.... like OMFG... 0_o

4. Life is also kicking my ass.... :(

5. I decided what I want for my graduation present. :)



All things considered... I'm definitely in one of those semesterly slumps.



It sucks.




I need a hug. =[

Home, Sweet Home

LOL.

and it all starts to make sense....

jk.

anyways... life is good... but super busy... I'll post an update soon.

-js

For Static Noyze...

Love you guys and super proud to even have the honor of being friends with such talented dancers... Gus, Juandi, Peter, Jessenia, Suzette, and Enrique...

AGH!!! I'm so excited and happy for you guys it's ridiculous!!

STATIC NOYZE!

EVERYONE Vote on Thursdays!

'Wait... They don't love you like I love you.....'

Steph Shim... I <3 you for this dance:



- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Anyways, back to the top 5 -

1. Lynne and I's workshop: (There are many other youtube vids of everyone.)




2. STATIC NOYZE on ABDC! For everyone who doesn't know, a few of our friends made it on ABDC! Everyone vote for them on Thursdays! Good luck guys!

3. I applied for my degree yesterday!... 16 weeks left... crazy. o_0... I also filed my taxes for the second time. :D

4. We have our first performance of the term this Saturday for Mocha and Donk at BU. It should be good.... I'm excited.

5. MIT IMPACT!


PS. Everyone come to the Mocha Show on Feb. 14-15th!

Best,
Jason

Blogs Galore...

So I recently was recruited as a blogger for the MIT Diversity site. As of now, my first entry just went up. However, I plan on doing many more creative things with the ones to follow. Or at least, I plan to solicit comments from more undergraduates I know on particular issues at MIT.

One question I have that I want more people to answer is:

1. What is the most effective step/initiative MIT faculty, staff, and/or students have made towards increasing and promoting diversity at MIT?

2. What work is still left to be done? -or- What potential problems prevent these steps/initiatives from being fully effective?

If any of you care about any of these issues, or have anything to comment on - definitely send some comments my way!

You can check out the blog here:
http://diversity.mit.edu/blog/index/339


If I site your comments, I'll definitely let you know when they are posted and give you credit if you'd like me to.

Best,
Jason

Solitude.

So I'm shut up in my room right now... avoiding everyone.

I just need a break from people... I've been super edgy for the past 24hrs and I don't even know why. Like, I've had to hold back from snapping at the littlest shit... even to my friends... or the kids I tutored this morning... literally everything/everyone.

I think I'm just tired.

Tired of putting so much of my time/effort into things I don't care anything about.

I just want a week to live for me.

Just one week... not thinking about what's in the interest of anyone else... or what I can do to help them...

....but that's just wishful thinking.

'My Hero' - The Foo Fighters

Sometimes, I wish life was as epic as RPG games. I think that's why I used to waste soo much time on the Final Fantasy series. (We're talking 100's of hours total.)

Anyways.

Update on my life.

1. I'm semi-failing my New Year's resolutions. Mostly due to dance taking up 4hrs+ a day, and even more on weekends. sigh.

2. IAP is counting down. It'll be sad to see it go. It's always the best month of the academic year for me, by far.

3. Dance is my life right now. I love it. I wish I had discovered it when I was young... so by now I could be like the sickest dancer... but w/evs... instead I played basketball for 14years... and still suck. lol.

4. My mom is in the states picking up Chyna to take her back to Turkey, and I didn't get a chance to fly down to meet her... cus it'd cost so much, and my schedule is ridiculous. :(

5. The MIT dance workshops have been the ish... (hopefully mine is on that level next week.)
















....and thats only a snippet of all the dancing over IAP... lol.. in fact... that's like only 1/8 of all the dancing we've been doing I'd say. lol.

But I <3 it.

I really <3 it.

2010... a decade of life changes.

The past 8 days of my life have been life-changing.

I love my friends.

I love my family.

I love dance.

I love life.

Chopstyx.

Chopstyx was found dead.

I haven't cried in a while, but I guess everyone cries sometimes.

I <3 u for always Choppy.

...for always.

'Let me be your supernovaaa..'

Well Mother,

Here's to our Winter Break Anthem:



In a few hours I'll be Boston-bound.

So weird how fast it all went by... and leave it to my mom to make leaving sad... (:P I know you're reading this.)

Well, it was awesome, and I'll miss being home. :-\

Thanks for an awesome winter vacation.



Love you,

Jason

This is My Resolution....

The first thing that came to mind when I typed the title of this blog was an old Nick Lachey song I used to listen to when I was all 'emo' back in the day...



...love that song.

Anyways... back to the task at hand.... My 2010 Resolutions...

I had a hard time coming up with resolutions this year. I generally try to make them very concise and ambitious, just so I can challenge myself and have a more quantitative means to judge my progress. However, this year I couldn't think of too many drastic changes that I'd want to add to my current lifestyle.

I do plan to do three things:

1. Run 5 times a week.
2. Drink only water with 2 of my daily meals.
3. Blog at least once a week... even if it's just a sentence or two.

Of course there are other things I need to do as I strive for the 'perfect' lifestyle, but this year has been a relatively good year. So it's hard for me to complain. Except I really need to get in shape. If I can do that by 2011, I'll be more than satisfied.

Chopstyx, I love you.

We Skyped the dogsitter to check up on the dogs today.

Chopstyx has been missing for three weeks. For my mom, that's like the babysitter telling you she can't find your child. Furthermore, as of a couple years ago, Choppy is epileptic, and now without his medicine.

My mom immediately started crying.

The sitter says she has posted fliers in mailboxes, shelters, and everywhere. She received some phone calls of people who thought they had seen him, but no luck.

Three weeks.

I'm not really sure how I feel right now. I miss him so much already, but as of now I am in denial that he is actually gone for good.

The rational side of me knows the chances of him showing up are slim. But I can't even imagine home without him... and poor Chyna. For 9 years, they were the dynamic duo.

I don't really even know what to say, except pray for a miracle.

I just want to sleep now.

Happy New Year.