Simply. Living.

So as summer comes to a close, it's probably about time I recap all that has happened over the past 3 months. Both for the blog, but also for myself.

I often ask myself why I continue to blog, especially with the limited time I have these days - but then I remember the whole reason I began blogging in the first place. I have this extreme fear of forgetting / being forgotten - hence the title 'athazagoraphobia'.

Everyone has at one point dreamed of being immortal, yet living forever is impossible. However, it helps me sleep at night to think that memories - both my own, and those others have of me - last forever. Thus, even if my body does not make it to see my 112th birthday in 2100, maybe these words will. Maybe some 24 year old will read this one day, and get something out of it - even if that something is just a smile :), a laugh :D, or even a tear :'(.

That's why I blog. To have my life, my lessons-learned, my mistakes not be all for nothing.

Anyway, so a recap of Summer 2012:

Locations:

Memorial Day / Birthday (Saginaw)

July 4th (P-town/Boston)

Tony's Going Away (Maine)

MIT 2009 Pi Reunion (Las Vegas)

Divers Cite! (Montreal)

Lynne Tye, et. al! (San Francisco)

Burning Man! (Black Rock City)

ADL Training! (Mallorca)

Rachel K-L! (Madrid)

My Mom's visit (Washington DC)

Songs:

"Calling (Lose My Mind)" - Alesso, Sebastian Ingrosso

"Too Close" - Alex Clare

"Cashin' Out" - Ca$h Out

"How We Do (Party)" - Rita Ora

"Show Me" - Jessica Sutta

"Bombs" - Dawn Richard

"We Run The Night" - Havana Brown, Pitbull

"Wide Awake" - Katy Perry

"Underneath" - Adam Lambert

Every aspect of this summer - every new memory, every new friendship - I've made this summer has really been extremely important / influential to me in some way or another - allowing for much backward and forward thinking.

Now it's time to get serious, get organized, and get driven for the next few months.

In order to do so, I will have to give up a few things (e.g., dance, going out, etc.) to a large extent - but it's somewhat critical for me.

For this drastic change in attitude, I need new music. (I've already got a few Fall favorites - including "R.I.P." by Rita Ora and "Dare To Believe" by Boyce Avenue)

And with that, I just have to say cheers. Cheers to a 'Focused Fall' in 2012.

Wish me luck.

Keep me in your prayers.

... and most of all, don't invite me out.

(Legit.)

Until then, you can find me in my room.

js

ps. I hope the video below moves you as much as it moved me:

"Live simply, so that other people can simply live."

Atarashii Desu

So. Alanis is on. I feel like she was so underrated.

I know I have failed tremendously at blogging over the past 14 weeks - but in my defense, I was only in Boston 1-3 days a week for that entire period of time.

Tarikh and I have a code term - 'new' - that I will use for this blog, just because I'm actually not too sure how many people read this thing.

So I've realized over the past year or so, I've developed a strong set of new friends - not as replacements for my other friends of course - but definitely with potential to become 'for-lifers'.

I've also made some progress (thanks Amelia!) in thinking about what my next steps will be. :) - I could never work in industry... at least not yet... it's too slow, and some of the people (sorry to generalize) are even slower. But I do need a move for sure, and I finally think I know where to focus those efforts :).  

"What it all comes down to. Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine..."

OMG ALANIS IS SPEAKING TO ME RIGHT NOW!

Basically, I'm looking forward to continuing the development of this 'new' life - both in the literal sense, as well as my most recent definition.

A life of intellectual stimulation.

A life of dancing, adventure, and full-out raging.

A life of family - both biological and otherwise.

 "You live, you learn; You love, you learn; You cry, you learn; You lose, you learn; You bleed, you learn; You scream, you learn...."

I don't know where to start....

So February and March...

I just didn't have time... to blog, to breathe.... to love.

----------------

I apologize for not having enough time for you. I really wish I did.

Maybe in another life, we'll get another chance to do it right.

But I wish you the best.

----------------

I'm dying for a change. I'm yearning for some motivation.

I need to get away... if not physically, mentally.

Maybe I just need to get back into my cocoon.

Maybe I was trying to break out too soon.

Still much development left for me until I escape this town.

My metamorphosis is still underway.

'We Found Love... over, and over again...'

To people who actually keep up with my blog, I apologize... I have been neglecting the blog pretty much since September.

It's mainly because I've been all over, and when I am home, my bed is just SOOOO comfy.

As I sit in bed right now - listening to 'It's All Coming Back To Me' by Celine, I might add - in a failed attempt to clean my room, I figured I might as well attempt a blog post.



So yeh, in summary... I'm kind of over Boston.

I love my friends, and at times my job / coworkers, but yeh, it just isn't doing it for me.

I find myself gone EVERY weekend - like no joke, this is my first weekend in Boston since Dec. 11th... and I wasn't even in town the two weekends before that.

New York, Miami, Bahamas, St. Thomas, St. Marteen, Grand Turk, San Juan.... I think I'm also just addicted to traveling.

Life is all about experiences. Money is whatever to me. I'd gladly spend an entire paycheck on a trip to the Caribbean with my 10 favorite people.

I wish everyone had that mentality. I work, such that I can spend.

I have more trips to come : Aruba, Ultra, and Burning Man are already pretty much lined up.

LoL, let's just hope I get my bonus.

I do need to figure out what I want to do in the long-term.... am I still even pre-Med? Am I going to find a way to move to Miami?

Bah... I'll figure it out later.

Miami is looking more and more for me with every visit.

CELINE is killing right now. This song is so epically amazing. :) But 'Take Care' is still "our song". :)



PS. I finally saw The Notebook.

'All Things Beautiful'

This post is well overdue, but better late than never:

'All Things Beautiful'

Fall 2011

This is a dedication to all things for which I am thankful for as I wrap up Fall 2011...

Travel

The most beautiful cities. I have been able to travel so much, and for free. Since August, I've been to Paris twice, Prague, and Zurich... as well as camping in the Adirondacks, Halloween in Key West, work trip to Houston, and Thanksgiving in ATL. The world is, beautiful.

Dance

The most beautiful artform. Continuing with dance - particularly with such a crazy travel schedule - has been challenging. But it has been well worth everything. Winning the first World of Dance Boston with CONcept ARTists was both a very surreal moment, but also a motivator that its all worth it. I hope to continue with dance for as long as I can, because it honestly gives me sanity. Dance is, beautiful.

Music

The most beautiful sounds. I love music. It gets me through everything. Rihanna's new album just came out, and it is fantastic. I dunno what it is about music that can control my mood so easily, and change me so abruptly. Music is, beautiful.

Friends & Family

The most beautiful people. There is no explanation needed for this one. Just going through my facebook photos from the Fall makes me realize how lucky and blessed I am. I love my family - including my friends who are my family. They make it all worth it, and to be honest, I'd give everything up to just be surrounded by the people who matter most for the rest of my time on this earth. MY FAMILY is BEAUTIFUL.

Life is, beautiful.

Prague.

<3 Let's just say, I cried when I left for the airport. <3 Europe <3

More Pics.

'Save The World Tonight' - Swedish House Mafia

I don't know if it's just a bad case of the Monday's, or if my subconscious was just down, irritable, and flat out self-defeatist today.

It's difficult never knowing if each choice that you make is the right one. And at times, it's impossible to have the foresight to predict the best move.

Why can't life be straight forward? predictable? or even just fair?

I guess I have to blame all the recent (but amazing) emo things that I have been witnessing lately - 'Rise of The Planet of the Apes', 'Hunger Games', 'Skyscraper',etc. - which all tell the story (in their own way) of how much letting someone into your heart more often than not ends in it getting broken.

ugh.

'You can take everything I have, you can break everything I am...
Like I'm made of glass, like I'm made of paper...'