Reborn: New Beginnings

So maybe you've noticed, but it's been 9 months since my last blog. Though this was half purposeful, half the result of being my usual level of busy.

I decided to really kick into gear for the months leading up to my "re-birth" of sorts. I like to think of my time spent in Boston as comparable to a caterpillar consuming and growing as much as possible until it's finally time to enter the cocoon and emerge as something even bigger, even better than before. 

And as the year comes to a close, I am happy to say that it was all a success. :D

#StanfordGSBClassof2016

"Be still my heart cause it's freaking out... it's freaking out... right now..."

I will do my usual recap of the year and announcement of 2014 goals in the coming days. But I am happy to be back to blogger! <3 p="">
-J.S.

Don't You Worry, Child.

So although my last post was a good read, I guess it didn't really count as a blog entry.

Although tests and such have been long over, life has remained fairly hectic in preparations for the next stages - which currently are kicking off with applying to grad schools this September.

This spring, I have decided to take it all on full force. One last 'hoorah'. I've been taking two online classes - a Statistics and Global Poverty class - as well as dancing for two teams, something I haven't done in ages. I have begin coordinating the volunteering I'd like to do at PaneraCares, as well as this local Homeless Youth Program. And finally, I have continued to pack on the weekend plans as if I have zero obligations; see: DC, NYC, two weeks in Asia, Miami for Ultra Music Festival [RIP.SHM] But I chose to wait for a reason. I'm going to take my time, and I'm going to do it right. It makes me pretty excited.

I do have to say that falling in love with my life all over again has seemed to have an affect on me - one which I cannot characterize as positive or negative, simply a change of demeanor.

But I must move forward.

Even though it's getting warmer out.

Even though all I want to do is chew a pack of gum, close my eyes, and bob my head to recordings of Ultra 2013.

It's my 25th birthday soon. (OMG) And I cannot let myself lose sight of the prize.

I cannot be distracted.

Don't you worry, don't you worry child...

See heaven's got a plan for you.

Learning to Love through Osmosis

The blog post below - from Though Catalog - was simply too applicable to not be shared:

"I used to drink coffee every morning, but now I drink tea. I feel I am very much a coffee person in spirit — in the same way that I am a dog person, maybe — but I have always been drawn to tea people. They have surrounded me in life and warmed me to the more nuanced, quiet pleasures of all the different teas there are to try. My best friend loves English Breakfast, my sister loves Earl Grey, my boyfriend loves Lapsang Souchong. Now, after years of turning up my nose and pouring myself another espresso, I love all of them. (Except Earl Grey, because bergamot tickles my throat.)

There is something beautiful about learning to love through osmosis. We fall in love with people throughout our lives and, by extension, learn to love what they love. Everything that they are interested in, everything they touch, is suddenly rendered fascinating and alluring in a way it had never been before. We learn entire languages, memorize whole recipe books, join a fandom of a show we’d never previously heard of — we become enamored with the things they have chosen to love in life.

We date someone who loves to dance. And they leave our life one day, but we dance for the rest of our lives. Was that not a gift — if not from them, then from the universe?

Everything is waiting to be discovered, to be fallen in love with. People we see day in, day out, for years on end are endlessly complex. There is so much about them we will never have time to learn, and so much they can give us just by gracing us with their presence. We are all privileged to see these bits and pieces of the rich inner lives we can never fully express, and to take something along with us and make it part of ourselves is akin to planting a seed and allowing it to grow in new, fertile soil. They taught me how to love tea, and one day, I will have tried a thousand kinds.

When we say that we want love, we often forget just how much of it we have. A friend recently told me, 'I don’t know what I want to do with my life — I feel like everything is on full volume, and I can’t just listen to one song.' She is right. There is too much to do, too much to learn, too much to see. There are so many things left to love, so many things which are waiting to be discovered by our hand, things we will never reach out and touch. But it is important to think about all of the things we have today, all of the love which has already found us.

I will never learn how to skateboard, I don’t think. But if tomorrow I fell in love with someone who did — if a close friend or lover took me by the hand and showed me everything they know about it, because they are only too excited to share — I would try. And maybe I would grow to love skateboarding as if I had been born rolling down a hill.

We are looking for this, all of us. All the time. We want to find these things and for them to fill our lives with a fresh, new kind of joy. We want to feel that burst of life, that feeling of  'everything is possible and there is so much I have not yet seen.' We want the love that we create in life to reach out in a thousand directions, to touch a million things we have not yet considered. We want to learn to drink tea because someone showed us how wonderful it was, and how many varieties there are for you to try. Our time is limited, but the ability to share these things and show each other what makes life most worth living for us is infinite.

Not too long ago, I went to lunch with a friend who saw that I ordered tea instead of coffee. 'You getting old?' he asked. 'Yeah,' I said, 'but so are you.'"


Personally, I agree 100% with these sentiments.

(ps. real life update / post to come soon.)

"Resolution" - Nick Lachey

It's 2013.
  

"Mother Mary..."

What an ugly number; I've never been a fan of the number 13. Regardless, I hope this year will lead to even more positive changes in my life.

"I swear I wanna change."

Every year around the start of a new set of resolutions, I always somehow end up coming across a song that means a lot to me: "Resolution" by Nick Lachey. (No, it is not the song I am quoting in this post.) The song really gets at what drives my particular life goals and resolutions at any point; I am constantly in pursuit of some "best" version of myself that I know has the potential to exist theoretically, but with each day-to-day decision I make, I either bring myself closer to or farther away from this person I want to eventually be.

"Mr. Jesus, I'd love to be your King."

However, I made a ton of progress in the last quarter of 2012 - particularly with finishing both GMAT and GRE. Now to continue with this new-found motivation and continue down the path to grad school.

"Never thought this many people would even know my name."

Moving to another - yet somewhat related - topic, my mom is moving back to Vegas in July. I say this is related because I have been contemplating what to do once I do get into grad programs this Fall (knock on wood). I decided that if possible I would love to take a 6-9 month gap to travel, take risks, and potentially move back home for a bit. 0_o

"I'll be a star you keep directing me, lets make the best scene they've ever seen."

I think I am also getting closer to figuring out my true career passion. And coincidentally, I have Panera to thank. I have known for some time now that I was passionate about Health, Wellness, and Nutrition. Additionally, I know that I would like to work in a job that directly helps people of disadvantaged life situations - particularly children. Finally, I know that I would like to own my own business and be my own boss. Thus, one can imagine how excited I was when I read about Panera and its recent "Panera Cares" chain of restaurants. I love the idea, the mission, and the business model; But most of all, I love that it is the first time I have seen an example of someone doing something that combines all of my major passions from a career standpoint.

"Let's capture the moment, 'cause even forever ain't forever."

As a whole, I'm happy to finally be excited about something career related again. Now I have the rest of this year to make sure I have all the right cards in play to achieve my ambitious career goals.

Step 1: Get into a good MPH / MBA joint program.

"I swear by the moment, 'cause together ain't promised forever."

In other news, I learned how to snowboard over NYE in Whistler! Resulting in what I would characterize as a moderate addiction. Something about snowboarding makes me forget about everything else and get completely engulfed in my surroundings. Although, that could probably be how I managed to ignore the fact that I was frostbitten for almost a full day on the mountain. -_-

"Let's live in the moment, as long as we got each other."

Although I am excited for my travel plans in 2013 - e.g., Southeast Asia, Ultra, DC, Vegas, Burning Man - I have to say I think I'm more excited for the lame nights of staying home and planning out my life. I actually love those nights equally as much as some of my funnest nights out. And I have so much life now to plan! :) That's what I'm most excited to do in 2013.

"Die the moment."  

Aside from getting into grad school and continuing to learn to snowboard, I guess I do have a few other more typical resolutions. Of course the first of which being working out more often. I am also attempting to continue becoming more creative and confident in the kitchen. 

Fundamentally, I just want to continue living in the moment and trying new things - something I did well in 2012.

Move forward; 

Live for today... while planting seeds for tomorrow.

"I'm prepared to die in the moment..."